Open Letter to Ourselves
Blogmas Day 10
Day 10, we ain’t doing this again. Lol Just Kidding… maybe.
Reniece
To start off, I want to say that I am extremely proud of you and everything that you have been through this past year. You have been through a lot of trials and tribulations and those range from mental breakdowns to having male depressive episodes but you made it and you survived. You did it and that is nothing to look down on.
First thing you need to do going into this new year is to stop comparing yourself to others.
You may feel that you’re far behind or you’re not where you’re supposed to be but what God has planned for you is for you. You need to stay in your lane and be focused on what you need to get done. You have made it very far and you will continue to thrive as long as you keep your eyes on the prize. Stay centered and focused on your goals and you will definitely achieve them.
Stop being so hard on yourself.
It’s the worst feeling when you are your own worst critic. The things that people think that you’re amazing at you discredit or diminish. Stop belittling your accomplishments because you feel like somebody has reached farther than you in those same accomplishments. They did not go through the same journey as you and they don’t react the same way as you. Be proud of all the achievements that you have made. You were able to overcome a lot of trauma this year and recover and become a graduate of an accredited university and even though you don’t feel like that’s a big accomplishment, you still did it as a first generation student.
Continue to speak positive affirmations and never settle.
You are worth a lot more than you think because you critique yourself so much but you were worth the world and so much more. But that being said don’t ever feel like you’re better than anyone. Treat everyone with respect no matter their title, jobs or education level. Everyone deserves respect and the more educated you become the more you should be helping others and caring about others. Don’t ever get too high up that you don’t remember where you’re coming from.
Remember that your journey is your own and you don’t have to watch anyone else’s or judge yourself based on anyone else. Continue to take things at your own pace. Stay focused on yourself and you will prosper. If you lose some people along the way, they just weren’t meant to enjoy the journey with you and that’s fine. You were you before you met them and you’re going to be you after you met them. Maybe losing them leaves you a little bit better than you were before. Everything is going to be a learning lesson and no matter how sad or down we get there are a lot more sunny days coming.
Akayla
Girl, you are a resilient MOFO.
You have overcome so many things within this year. You worked through your trauma, pushed past the barricades of your anxiety/panic attacks, and managed to learn how to forgive yourself every single day.
January - March
You pushed yourself out of your comfort zone to pursue leadership positions that you never thought you could handle. You were setting the tone for the rest of year by focusing solely being the best you, you can be. You realized that everyone will not and cannot be there for you in the way that you are for them. God introduced you to some excellent people that continue to support you even though you are out of their presence.
April - June
You caught flights and feelings. The pressure of graduation sought to weight you down and it may have slowed you but it didn’t stop you. You were able to let loose and have your first real girls trip in New Orleans. An unforgettable experience that you can’t wait to repeat January 2020. You were able to return home to Jamaica to celebrate the long and prominent life of your grandmother, Melvie Johnson aka Grams. Drinking alone while laying in bed, feeling fresh island breeze is unmatched! Although you were stressed about your devious Professor ruining your trip, you bossed up (in prayer) and managed to pass.
July - September
YOU GRADUATED! Every panic attack, every tear, every failure, and every success culminated in the greatness of your achievement. I know at times you may feel like you didn’t do much and need to do more but you are enough and every accomplishment is just icing on your delicious cake. Like you really did that! Period. And then almost exactly 2 weeks after graduating, God provided you with a job in your field (at the time). You are gainfully employed! A blessing in itself.
October - December
Halloween is your time to flourish and flourish you did. All that glitters was not gold but that ish is still cute to wear. These were the loneliest months of your year. Post-graduate life is hard to adjust to and at times you felt completely alone. You went through a professional metamorphosis. What was your goal, no longer interests you. The blessings began to feel like curses and the weight of your own expectations began to strain the muscles of your back but you preserve. There is so much to figure out in 2020 but I know you’re strong enough to make decisions and deal with the consequences, good or bad. One thing you learned this year is that God provides, physically and emotionally. You need to learn patience. Your wonderfully capable hands are not infallible. There is a time to till the field and a time to allow it to grow. You gotta relax, water your plants, and watch the blessing grow!
P.S. You losing weight now but the motivation has been lacking. Don’t let 2020 catch you in the same weight from 2019. We moving up and out!
