BYOB and A Shot For Me: Finding The Beauty In Black Men (Storytime)
Hey ya’ll.
Happy Friday 13th
Settle in with your drinks. Let’s talk.
Welcome to BYOB and A Shot For Me.
I am your host, Akayla Reynolds.
This week, I’m pulling up to the party with Barefoot Pink Moscato Champagne. (Yes, there’s a champagne.) It’s actually my favorite champagne I’ve had so far. I usually finish the bottle in one sitting. I don’t know if it’s because I enjoy it so much or because I have a drinking problem.
But who cares?
Anyways, I just got home from watching IT: Chapter 2, which was an interesting movie. Not nearly as scary as it’s predecessor but I really enjoyed it for the laughs and tense moments.
*Very Slight Spoiler Alert* Skip over the underlined portion if you really want no spoilers.
One tense moment was when Older Ben was subjected to having words carved into his stomach by Pennywise the Clown.
The actor that played Ben was really selling the pain and the agony that his character was in, but I could not focus on anything other than the fact that he SUPER fine!
Now, now. Let’s not pretend like we’re not all adults here. And if you aren’t, then pretend you’re an honorary adult for the night.
We all see people that we think are fine and attractive. Usually, it doesn’t mean much. All that really comes from it is a passing glance and wishful thinking, but I was really taken aback on how fine I really thought he was.
This is Ben’s Actor. His name is Jay Ryan. I’ll insert a picture of him somewhere here.
As we all can see here Mr. Ryan is white. (or caucasian. Whichever one you prefer. IDC.)
Of course, it doesn’t come to me as a shock that I find him attractive because he is not the first white man I thought was cute. White, Black, Polynesian, Asian, Latinx. If you’re fine, you’re fine.
Actually, when I reacted so positively to him. It reminded me of a pivotal moment in my life.
So here’s a little story time.
I’ve had an interesting relationship with my dating preferences as I’ve grown. Very early on in my life, I wanted nothing more than to date guys that looked like the Jonas Brothers, Zac Efron, or any relatively good looking white man with abs and a Bieber cut. Mainly because that’s all I was surrounded with. I went to semi-private charter school and I was one of four black kids in my grade. Most of my first crushes were white. I guess I trained my mind to accept that as the standard for what I should be looking for. Little did I know that I wasn’t their standard.
This is not a pity party lol. I’m not here to languish on lost elementary school loves.
Fast forward to middle school, and those years were just hell wrapped in typing classes and sticky bus seats. So we’re going to skip those all together.
When I entered high school, I had an “Ah-ha” moment about the beauty of Black men.
I was walking upstairs of Building 5 to get to my class after the bell rang. I was quickly jogging up the stairs to escape the crowds and the potential judgement that lie in weight for 9th graders. To this day, I work really hard on not being noticeable when I am in crowds because believe it or not, I don’t really like attention. (Negative or Positive)
I looked up only to make sure I was dodging the incoming person, and that’s when I saw him.
For the purposes of this blog lmao, we’ll call him John M.
When I glanced up to look, all I saw was John’s smooth dark skin paired with 32 straight white teeth packaged in big lips that formed a smile as he passed me. We made eye contact and my life changed forever. 😂 Every other time that I saw him, he looked like a Disney Prince gleaming in the sun with his locs waving in the wind.
It was as if my eyes were opened to the wonderful world of black men and my dating preferences haven’t changed since. I see myself gravitating towards men with John’s blueprint. Dark skinned black men, with good teeth. The hairstyles change, personalities change, but the blueprint remains the same.
Really and truly, I think I saw the beauty of myself in John. I am a dark skinned woman and I have struggled like many others to claim my worth in society while working to see the worth in myself. That experience has really imprinted on me, I even have locs now myself.
John wasn’t the catalyst for my loc journey but deep down inside I think seeing him with them helped nudge me along. I am nowhere near the point of accepting my true beauty but I know that I am attracted to the positive aspects of myself I identify in others.
I almost wish I could thank him lol. But I digress. College has expanded my mind and as I said previously if you’re fine, you’re fine irregardless of race, but I can’t seem to deviate from the blueprint.
Who knows? Maybe one day, I’ll be putting up a wedding announcement for me and a Jay Ryan look-a-like. Most likely not though. I’ll always have all the potential John M’s in the back of my mind.
